Penny's Wedding

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Chasing Your Guests

You spend so much time, money and effort when it comes to planning your wedding.  Is it really fair to have to pick up the slack for your guests too?

The only things your guests need to think about are their outfits, possibly purchasing a gift for you, and taking time out of their weekend or weekday to celebrate with you.  So asking them to respond to your invite is hardly taxing.

I have never, and probably will never, understand why people don’t respond to invites.  Nowadays we don’t always expect posted paper acknowledgements (we’ll save that debate for another day) – many of us expect and encourage acceptances in the form of text messages, email and now even Facebook and twitter!  There really are no excuses for your guests to be so tardy.

Why are people failing to return your invite?  Here are some of the excuses I’ve had and heard.

Too busy to respond

 Forgot to respond

 They assumed you knew they were going to attend so didn’t know they had to respond

 Don’t want to attend but too scared to tell you

Should you chase your guests for an answer?  If so, how do you do it?

 “I’m chasing you because you can’t be bothered to spend 5 minutes talking to me about my wedding day.”

 “We don’t seem to have a response from you – we’d love to see you on our special day.” 

Day Guests

It’s a bit of a catch 22 situation when it comes to day guest acceptances as you can’t afford not to chase them.  If you don’t chase them and they thought/assumed they had told you they were attending, you could end up with a few too many day guests and not enough spaces at the wedding breakfast.

Evening Guests

In my opinion, it’s not so bad with evening guests ignoring your invitation – don’t get me wrong, they should still respect your invite and respond, but if they don’t, it’s not the worst thing.  Buffet food is a wonderful tool to have at your wedding.  If you’re having a formal evening meal, then you’re in the same situation as the non-acknowledging-day-guests.

So, all you people out there who never respond to wedding invites, you ought to hang your heads in shame.  You are adding extra pressure to the bride and groom when they really don’t need it.  If you don’t want to attend a wedding, tell the couple immediately.  They might be a little upset that you’re not going, but not half as much as if you never get back to them.  This sort of behaviour can affect friendships.  The couple would much rather celebrate with people that want to be there rather than people who feel forced to attend.

Penelope x x